Need to vent

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anonymous

New member
Here is the situation. I have CF and I live with a hypercondriac. I do my best to not complain when I don't feel good, and I take pride in how I handle my CF. In the mean time, they are constantly coming up with the most rediculous illness or allergy. This week it was after 40+ years of dairy products, they are allergic to milk. Not all dairy, just milk. Oh yeah and aluminum. No tests, just turned allergic. This person drives me crazy to no end. It is a parent, so I really can't be harsh to them. On top on being a hypercondriac, this person is constantly telling people I am doing so bad and I feel awful. I believe they do this for sympathy for themself. I HAVE commented on telling people I don't feel well, when I try so hard to not show any weakness. I guess it is a pride thing, but I can't stand it. QUIT TELLING PEOPLE CRAP ABOUT ME SO YOU GET SYMPATHY!!! If I don't go to church because I over sleep, I will get 5 phone calls and messages saying they hope I feel better and get well soon. WTF? Another thing is this parent wants to talk to my doctors, which is fine, but have the damn sense to listen. They talk to the doctors then the first person they talk to they tell them something is wrong or something new has come up but then they tell a totally wrong story. Like they made it up in their head. IT absolutely drives me to the point I want to scream and tell them to never talk about me to anyone. Am I a nut case? If so, I figured I was. hahahaha

Oh and the reason I used they and them and their so much is I don't want them to read this and know its them.
 
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thefrogprincess

New member
I would probably go nuts living like that. You really need to consider moving out. And why on earth would you want this person tot alk to your docs?!? It will probably just make things worse. How much does this person know about cf now? Do you really want him/her to know how bad it could get???
 
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abloedel

New member
I have experienced this with two of my "friends"...they had to make what's going on with me all about them, when neither had even talked to me yet about what's going on (just recently diagnosed with CF). They (I'm using "they" and "them" alot too...LOL) went so far as to tell everyone else I know that I wouldn't be around to see my daughter's graduation, that I would have to quit my job, that basically my life was over...then had everyone feeling sorry for THEM...with their "poor me - my friend is dying - give me lots of sympathy attitudes". I did talk to them prior to diagnosis and told them of my CONCERNS, which somehow they have turned into reality. Must be even more difficult for you since it's a parent. At least I can drop my "friends". Hang in there...

Amy
36 w/CF
 
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luke

Guest
My god does that sound familiar!!!! My mother is the exact same way, she needed attention so if she wasn't telling people about how sick I was she was making up things about how sick she was. As life transpired I just quit talking to her so now she only has herself to use for attention. Actually, she has managed to wish herself into quite a miserable shape. Be strong, I feel your pain!


Luke
 
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anonymous

New member
Oh my god, I'd have to say that person is psychotic! And what the heck is wrong with your dr's that they would even listen to that person rather than you. Isn't there a little law called HIPPA to keep such things private?? I would 1st of all have a chat with your dr privatly expalining your side of the situation then I'd request the dr's to keep everything between the 2 of you, and exclude the other person at all cost.

You didn't mention if they were your parent or not, or what age you might be....that would have an affect of the decisions you make.

From a personal point of view, everytime I used to go to the Dr my mom would do her research before, she'd use huge words that I had no idea if she would even be talking about me or not, and she would show off like crazy. In fact one time she hit me in the head to be funny but it actually did hurt. So when I got to the age to take my medical stuff into my own hands, I did just that. I went to all of my appts alone, I took care of all my Rx's, etc. And I am still that way today. Infact, I had an appt last week and I called to tell her about it and a concern I had about bleeding. And she was like "Well I have been telling them about that for years haven't I?" Ugh. I could have gagged. Like even now she needed to get the praise for something years ago that she only mentioned, didn't even help with. Give me a break!

So, I would have to say you are not crazy but this person is driving you crazy. If it is possible sit down and have a straight forward conversation with them about how that person comes across and that you'd prefer the person not to do that and you will handle that on your own.

Well good luck and if nothing else it does feel good to vent doesn't it?

Kelli
27 years old, CF
 
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anonymous

New member
Ok It's me the original poster. No I am not a minor and it is a parent. I have nowhere else to go or I would have been out long ago. To try to answer questions:

This person doesn't really know anything about CF other than the very basics. No clue as to stuff like what pills I take and why. Just an ignorant person really.
This person is NOT in charge as far as my health care goes. Thank goodness.
I have spoken to the psychologist at clinics several times, but nothing has ever been done. I stated my concern about the constant lack of understanding and my concern that if something happened to me, this person would tell the care taker something wrong and get me seriously hurt.
I just don't know how to act or feel. I know this person loves me and I don't want to be ungrateful. I almost wish they would just completely stay out of my "CF" life. Be there for me but don't interfere with my health.
 
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anonymous

New member
No, your totally not a nut case! If one of my parents was like that I'd go crazy too. I would prolly ask them, "why do you lie about me?" And the whole hypocondriac thing (no offense) I think is hilarious! Suddenly thinking your allergic to something when you've been eating or using it for years. That's funny! Now I personally do have a parent who will hear how I'm feeling then exagerate or change it to the doctors. Then after or sometimes right infront of them, I'll correct it to the doctor. Makes them feel like a butt, but at least they know the true facts then. Good luck with your parent! Maybe just talk to them!
 
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anonymous

New member
To the original poster. I am sorry as to what you are going through. My ? to you is, is there someone else that can go with you to your appts that does know something about CF?(if you feel the need for support at your appts)? Are there any other family members that know about this cf? If so, I would recommend that you give that person power of attorney over your health just in case something does happen. You said you are not a minor. So, by law, if you have someone with power of attorney, this person or person's can not make your medical decisions for you, only the person with POA. I work for an attorney and let me tell you, we have all kinds of things like this that come through. The parents think they know what is best for their ADULT child, when really, they know NOTHING. We do POA's all the time for clients and believe it or not, quite a few in your situation. Usually the client has another family member or even a really close family friend for POA.

Good Luck to you!!!! My family will keep you in our prayers.
PS I have a sister and brother with cf, but thank goodness, our parents know quite abit about cf.

Kay
 
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