So I have been having a lot of angst lately about people in my house.
To give you a quick view into my living situation, I'm married, and in addition to my husband, we have two roommates, all living in a house that my husband and I own.
One of my roommates is a long time friend, that I have known for over 10 years. Lately he has been causing me a large amount of stress, simply by cleaning.
Now how is this related to CF? Well in spite of my CF, my mother fully expected me to fill a role in the house, equal to my non-cf sister. I was not allowed to use feeling sick or not healthy as an excuse. I'm appreciative at this, as it taught me not to use CF as a crutch... but as I have gotten sicker and need more rest, I am able to do less and less around the house. This is bothersome to me on a large level. It makes me feel useless and that I'm not trying hard enough.
So lately this roommate has been cleaning... a lot. And obsessively. Like not yielding to "I'll do this after I finish eating" and just blowing past me and cleaning. Some days, doing dishes is all I can manage, but he's been so obsessive about them, I can't do them. And I feel that it's a reflection on me. That he's doing them because I'm a bad person that wouldn't do it on my own. I feel like he resents me, even though he says he doesn't. But he also won't tone it down, even though he knows he is hurting and annoying me. I want to prove I can do stuff, but he keeps taking every opportunity from me. And won't stop when I ask him. So now I feel even less capable than I am.. and in my mind a person who isn't working up to their capabilities is bad...
What do I do?
I know this is mostly just an emotional rant, but I wanted to put it in a place that my husband and roommates don't read.
To give you a quick view into my living situation, I'm married, and in addition to my husband, we have two roommates, all living in a house that my husband and I own.
One of my roommates is a long time friend, that I have known for over 10 years. Lately he has been causing me a large amount of stress, simply by cleaning.
Now how is this related to CF? Well in spite of my CF, my mother fully expected me to fill a role in the house, equal to my non-cf sister. I was not allowed to use feeling sick or not healthy as an excuse. I'm appreciative at this, as it taught me not to use CF as a crutch... but as I have gotten sicker and need more rest, I am able to do less and less around the house. This is bothersome to me on a large level. It makes me feel useless and that I'm not trying hard enough.
So lately this roommate has been cleaning... a lot. And obsessively. Like not yielding to "I'll do this after I finish eating" and just blowing past me and cleaning. Some days, doing dishes is all I can manage, but he's been so obsessive about them, I can't do them. And I feel that it's a reflection on me. That he's doing them because I'm a bad person that wouldn't do it on my own. I feel like he resents me, even though he says he doesn't. But he also won't tone it down, even though he knows he is hurting and annoying me. I want to prove I can do stuff, but he keeps taking every opportunity from me. And won't stop when I ask him. So now I feel even less capable than I am.. and in my mind a person who isn't working up to their capabilities is bad...
What do I do?
I know this is mostly just an emotional rant, but I wanted to put it in a place that my husband and roommates don't read.